This just in: I want to eat my lotion.
That’s right. But first let me explain - (though the title is pretty self-explanatory)
I’ve discovered quite possibly the best thing to happen to bathtime and toiletries since bubble bath, and completely on accident. I bought some lotion the other day that - wait for it - smells like FRUIT STRIPE GUM!!!! (I cannot disclose where I bought the lotion, beacause i don’t want anyone else tapping into my somewhat limited supply {read: it was on clearance})
I haven’t been this excited since Sarah and I found fruit stripes gum at a gas station off an interstate exit in the middle of nowhere between Tallahassee and Tampa. We spent the rest of the 4 hour car ride covering ourselves in sloppily-adhered temporary tattoos and proceeded to chew all 3 packs we’d bought. By the time we got to Tampa, I had Yipes doing all sorts of extreme sports up and down my arms.
Here’s my only complaint about Fruit Stripe gum: the flavor lasts for about 2 minutes. I get it that its all retro and whatnot, but with modern flavor technology, couldn’t they reengineer the gum to taste delicious for, oh, say, thirteen more minutes?
Am I giving this entirely too much thought? Regardless, my lotion smells like fruit stripes gum and I’m about ready to eat my arms.