you’re supposed to have jury duty on a monday but when you call the automated juror line sunday night, it says you don’t have to report on monday but to please call back after 5 pm? So instead of making $120 in cash (nannying, not stripping), you sit around your apartment watching stand-up on your laptop because you’ve been sick to your stomach all weekend and also because it’s too hot to be outside? And you’ve been feeling so shitty from being sick that you have to peptalk yourself just to change out of your pajamas to run an errand to target so you can buy stuff to make yourself feel less sick? But then you think, hey, at least my puking Friday night/saturday morning wasn’t being hungover from champagne, yes champagne, and has actually turned out to be a 48-hour and counting stomach bug of sorts? Isn’t it the greatest??