Besties On Ice

midlifemusings: He looks miserable but he secretly loved it....

Sep 1st

I just found out my parents went to the...

W to the T to the F?

Sep 1st

catmansmuckers: yumwatch: honorstudent: Red shirt is...

Sep 1st

Watch

“Bacon is good for me!” Best Wife Swap EVER. Many thanks to Dave for the gift that...

Aug 31st

comedydeathray: “Comedy Death-Ray… has become one of the...

Aug 31st

(via sweethomestyle ) ...

Aug 31st

Sometimes in life you have to shmooze...

I like to think of myself as a pioneer of sorts.

Aug 31st

All dressed up with somewhere to go...

Mama’s headed to the Emmys party. Pray that I don’t break my neck in these shoes.

Aug 31st

…because we did.

Aug 30th

How creepy would you say it is if I told you Brittany and I spent a good 20 minutes in the American...

Aug 30th

Haters gon’ hate, but… the honeymoon has no end...

Aug 30th

Get a load of these assholes.

Aug 30th

Sometimes you go to a Katy Perry (and The Bird and the Bee!!) concert on a Saturday night because...

Aug 30th

Taking Canasty on a tour of LA to introduce her to her new...

Aug 29th

The post script goes a little something...

But we’re all very lucky to have this amazing support group of friends out here who have...

Aug 29th

I know it's a privilege and a sacrifice...

but sometimes I miss the shit out of living near my best friends.

Aug 29th

Everyone who was popular in 4th-7th...

Go to your facebooks this second and look up everyone who was running shit in your elementary school...

Aug 29th

Try and guess which one wasn’t a work-related...

Aug 28th

Condi, were you responsible for this?!

Aug 28th

(vialovepuppy)(Via kkkrystalsaysdance) This picture, man....

Aug 28th

christinahaberkern: This is tonight. I’m excited to see my...

Aug 28th

Kevin: Think about it this way: at least you wouldn't eat a lot if you were kept in a shed.
Me: That's true...plus, it's kind of a compliment.
Kevin: Yeah, it's like, 'You're willing to get a felony to have me?'

Aug 28th

Why I call him my stage dad:

Me: Holy shit, this story about the girl who was abducted when she was 11 and held captive in a shed for 18 years is crazy. She had TWO KIDS by her captor, and lived in a shed for EIGHTEEN years. That's why I'm not going jogging by myself in the morning anymore. I don't want to get abducted and have kids in a shed.
Kevin: You can't use that as an excuse not to go jogging, but nice try.

Aug 28th

Captain and first mate for life.

Aug 28th

My best friend asked me to speak at her wedding in...

Aug 28th

(via shell-phone) I gave my sister and her husband this...

Aug 28th

Pilgrimage January 2007, Mississippi.

Aug 28th

<3

Aug 28th

Recipe for Cracker Barrel Biscuits

Aug 28th

So,

 the writers asked me to are letting me write their acceptance speech for the Emmys. They said they...

Aug 28th

Watch

MTV Cribs - Lil’ Wayne  ”This right here is my girlfriend (points to Venus de Milo...

Aug 27th

(via rainsdowninafrica) My niece, loving hanging out with...

Aug 27th

My new favorite game to play at the...

I put the TV on Univision and Brittany translates the Spanish soap operas telenovelas for me.

Aug 27th

“Those dogs outlasted my father’s marriage.”
—  Brittany, on her dad’s...

Aug 27th

GPOYW Cracking Up At Something Canasty Finds Disgusting. 

Aug 27th

The patent for this banana ice cream injector...

Aug 26th

“WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?”
— - Condi, moments after I...

Aug 26th

To my future bestie (on ice)

condicondi: “We would fo sho be real life friendsies. Just sayin.” I’ve always believed this....

Aug 26th

“Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me...”
—  ShitMyDadSays

Aug 25th

“My flight lands at 9:30 on Sunday…You want to watch...”
— - From the best Twitter ever,...

Aug 25th

What a bunch of goons.

Aug 25th

I didn’t see the legend herself, but her vanity plate...

Aug 25th

It’s not every day Angelyne parks next to you at...

Aug 25th

I just got an email from one of the...

So I open the email expecting something urgent, and the body of the email says: Can you come in my...

Aug 25th

Watch

Move Your Boogie Body (It’s a command, not a suggestion.)

Aug 24th

Cats (duh). Have you met me? Also, cats dressed up in...

Aug 24th

Jay’s gift to me for Monacle Monday. Everything I love...

Aug 24th

For my first ever participation in Monacle Monday, I give...

Aug 24th

veganchameleon: AWKWARD FAMILY PHOTO SUNDAY! ...

Aug 24th

“You’re the whitest Juan I’ve ever met…and...”
—  Me, in one of my finer...

Aug 23rd

My stepmom’s a cougar.

Aug 23rd

Comedy Duo

paulytamale: I want to start a vaudeville comedy duo but where we’re both straight men. And the...

Aug 23rd

In retrospect, maybe it was "too soon"...

I’ll put that one back in the sketch piggy bank.

Aug 22nd

condicondi: is it early enough in the morning, where not a...

Aug 22nd

Another "Why Am I Just Seeing This For...

Before the movie, I was wondering if it was super depressing that I was watching The Virgin Suicides...

Aug 22nd

tomoatmeal: FOREPLAY! Foreplay is when a woman dresses up...

Aug 22nd

I went to the gyno this morning for my annual (you’re welcome) and I swear my doctor is the...

Aug 22nd

Watch

paulscheer: 30 Rock gets turned into a Porn Judging from the YouTube trailer (totally safe for...

Aug 22nd

“welcome to my world. this is where the magic happens (I’m...”
— Joanna is courteous because...

Aug 22nd

Oh right, because drinking hot tea is so naughty.

Aug 21st

“Man, I was thinking about unrequited love. I figure it’s...”
— — Joey Comeau (via...

Aug 21st

Yes, that’s a necklace holder for your wine glass. ...

Aug 21st

(via sweethomestyle) Someday.

Aug 21st

robhuebel: I have already figured out my Halloween costume...

Aug 21st

lieslieslies: jakec: [via] Oh mah gah.

Aug 21st

jaystarr: I typed ‘retarded unicorn’ into Google image...

Aug 20th

Guess who is now the proud owner of an advance copy of...

Aug 20th

Money can’t buy happiness, exhibit A.

Aug 20th

“You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you...”
— Richard Siken (via...

Aug 20th

The "Kogi Truck of Ice Cream...

Yes, please!

Aug 20th

Jason Schwartzman got MARRIED last...

Pardon me while I go mourn. 

Aug 20th

Totes random.

Went to dinner last night with my aunt Sholee (Dad’s youngest sister) and her husband (my...

Aug 19th

Watch

Best cooking mash-up video ever, anyone? (Or am I late to the party on this one too, internets?)

Aug 19th

AV Club's B.J. Novak interview

Aug 19th

kl7: Magnolia Bakery Set to Open This Fall in LA The...

Aug 19th

(via sweethomestyle) Is it vaguely pathetic that I plan on...

Aug 19th

chainchewinggum: Oscar Wilde Oh, hey there, dreamboat.

Aug 19th

“Alas, I am dying beyond my means.”
— Oscar Wilde as he sipped...

Aug 19th

“I bet you made more than Lady GaGa this year even though she...”
—  Spencer Pratt to Heidi...

Aug 19th

Hey, remember that time when we weren't...

I’ma do that tonight. 

Aug 19th

World's Greatest Dad - Premieres in theatres...

Aug 19th

condicondi: missworld: suicideblonde: Amy Poehler...

Aug 19th

Excerpt from Julianna Baggott Bridget Asher’s blog exhibiting why she and her husband are the...

Aug 19th

If you guys are writers or want to write or like to read and want to read a really insightful and...

Aug 19th

Watch

How to massage your cat. 

Aug 19th

If I'd known "Role Models" was...

Aug 18th

Recent surreality.

mattbraunger: Here are some things: - I got a turntable from my parents for my birthday. On...

Aug 18th

Jay posted this conversation between him...

Wife: You'll never guess what I did today.
Me: Punch someone?
Wife: Punching someone would have made more sense I think. Today I can Officially add this to my resume: Cleaning up human diarrhea that was not mine.
Me: ... Say what who?
Wife: One of the clients shit herself while getting her hair done. She shit all over the station chair, then got it all over the toilet, her smock, the floor, and the door to the bathroom. she never said a thing about it.
Me: That just can't be true. That's like a dream where talking dogs are detectives.
Wife: I didn't need their keen sense of smell to solve this mystery.

Aug 18th

Twinsies.

Aug 18th

christinahaberkern: are2: Brush your teeth This made me...

Aug 18th

Somebody had a busy arts and crafts weekend…

Aug 17th

Allow me to model for you.

Aug 17th

Someone also sent in this kitty blanket. All of my dreams...

Aug 17th

I know I'm late to the party on this...

YOGURTLAND. Oh em gee.

Aug 17th

“The Latin Kings just waved at us.”
—  Brittany, while driving in an...

Aug 17th

“It’s like a dress rehearsal for going into combat.”
— - Canasty, aka my NEW ROOMIE...

Aug 16th

caragh: Jon Gosselin has forgotten how to wear shirts that...

Aug 16th

holdthewhippedcream: Me and the new Roomie in L.A.!! Me + 8...

Aug 16th

nedhepburn: jim I ran into this dapper gent last night at...

Aug 16th

christinahaberkern: Presented with no bitchy commentary from...

Aug 16th

Heading to LAX...

to pick Brittany up!!(!!!!!!!!!) Now I know how new parents feel when they get to bring their...

Aug 16th

i only do business

molls: Last night one of my friends saw a cute dude at the bar and since I don’t believe in...

Aug 16th

Runyon Canyon Missed Connection

Runyon Canyon - W4M - 24 You - tall, handsome, looked like John Mayer (if John Mayer didn’t...

Aug 16th

“I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a...”
— The Hours (via julie911) (via...

Aug 15th

dispencer: Hell yea WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?! And how far...

Aug 15th

condicondi: So apparently there is an awesome place on...

Aug 15th

Watch

Just got some of these in at work. There goes my afternoon. (I actually tried it for the...

Aug 14th

Tenacious D at the Largo 8/28 and DAVID...

My head just exploded.

Aug 14th

tumblangeles: Hey LA! My tenants are moving back to NY....

Aug 14th

Delbert Shoopman, is that you?

Aug 14th

“A commercial just aired about date rape and the boyfriend...”
—  Text message...

Aug 14th

condicondi: THE GUIDE TO BEING SO CHOICE aka How Sloane...

Aug 14th

me: i'm thinking about changing my screenname to "WizardBaller"
me: thoughts?
Nathan: it can't hurt
me: thats why youre my writing partner/sometimes life coach
Nathan: yes that's the reason
me: mostly that

Aug 14th

This'll only be up until next Thursday....

Aug 14th

paulscheer: THINK BEFORE YOU UPDATE YOUR STATUS

Aug 13th

Can we all agree that Eunice Kennedy Shriver was pretty foxy...

Aug 13th

chainchewinggum: oooh I have these chairs, but where oh...

Aug 13th

GPOYW 3 Days Until The Lady The Tramp moves to LA! 

Aug 13th

The things she can do with her body are...

Aug 13th

Watch

The absolute most ridiculous dramatic reenactment in a local news story EVER. “Tina was too...

Aug 12th

Brooklyn in June. One of the best nights of my summer. 

Aug 12th

Can we all agree that Kevin Jonas looks like Mr. Tumnus from...

Aug 12th

Paris Hilton’s $325,000 Dog House Mansion This makes...

Aug 12th

Lady at Disney: Thank you for calling Disney World, and have a magical evening.
Me: You too.

Aug 12th

On the phone with Disney World

And the hold music was a song called “Celebrate You” by one Corbin Bleu of token...

Aug 12th

nathangotsch: My friend Meghan teaches English at a public...

Aug 11th

DIY tandem bicycle.

Aug 11th

Watch

Richard Simmons Walks It Out  (Skip ahead to the :25 mark)

Aug 11th

Mitch Hurwitz & Will Arnett Developing Fox...

Aug 11th

“We used to call it ‘going to Van Nuys,’ because...”
— -Andy, Weeds. I love this...

Aug 11th

I had a dream last night about a character that was basically a cross between Gilly and...

Aug 11th

Petite Feet

Aug 11th

Watch

catmansmuckers: auspices: Zach Galifianakis & Will Oldham reimagining a Kanye West video,...

Aug 11th

Petite feet, feminine step…sounds like a lady when...

Aug 11th

Well, well, well. Look who’s back at work. 

Aug 10th

Watch

I just saw this magical clip from one of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s old movies, “Stay...

Aug 10th

Florida man blames cat for downloading child...

Aug 10th

“I’m a really bad driver, so before I left for LA, the...”
—  Glory’s friend Todd,...

Aug 10th

(via fuckyeahsharks) (via spytap) (vianedhepburn)(via...

Aug 10th

Receiving exciting news/positive...

made today a wonderful last day of hiatus.  And now the question: will I be able to sleep or will I...

Aug 10th

Oh hey, incredibly bossy Pour La Victoire heels that are at...

Aug 10th

veganchameleon: AWKWARD FAMILY PHOTO SUNDAY!  I like this...

Aug 9th

80 Days of Summer

So today’s the last day of hiatus and tomorrow I go back to work for the first time since the...

Aug 9th

Double wantsies. Okay, I’m done being a girl (for...

Aug 9th

Wantsies. (Preferably in any other color than white, and for...

Aug 9th

holdthewhippedcream: In 6 days, I’ll be moving...

Aug 9th

I need to put this straight.

henryeatspeople: I’m a traditionalist when it comes to relationships. I like the guy to ask the...

Aug 9th

Research shows dogs may be smarter than...

Aug 9th

Greek yogurt and honey:

How and why am I just now discovering you? Delicious.

Aug 9th

ianbroyles: jockopaul: Hello Mr. Desktop man, I love...

Aug 9th

walpaper: johnaugust says, “The Subway to the Sea can’t...

Aug 9th

One week until my favorite Cuban is imported to LA!!!

Aug 8th

petswhowanttokillthemselves: Taco Bell’s new mascot.      ...

Aug 8th

kl7: Don Draper: Hot Dad Men with children are quite the...

Aug 8th

So...hypothetically speaking...

how bad would it be if i accidentally inhaled some second hand Raid earlier? Not like sprayed it...

Aug 8th

I'm home from Oregon and running on an...

My priorities, based on today’s order of activities since landing at LAX at 10:45 this...

Aug 8th

(More) child labor. (Riley caught the rainbow trout we ate...

Aug 7th

“My mom was born in Kentucky Fried Chicken. She was born in a...”
— My 6 year old cousin Riley,...

Aug 7th

Child (and sibling) labor.

Aug 7th

In a dream I had last night,

I was dating Barack Obama. Not Barack Obama in an alternate dream universe, but Barack Obama as...

Aug 7th

GPOYW Hanging out/Doing Outdoorsy Shit in Sun River with The...

Aug 5th

dirtypreston: suicideblonde: Tina Fey’s favorite...

Aug 5th

MANDATORY REBLOG FOR WOMEN IN THE LOS...

condicondi: THEY ARE OPENING A NORDSTROMS RACK ON BEVERLY BLVD AND LA CIENEGA, I REPEAT. THEY...

Aug 5th

My sister and I have been riding a tandem bicycle two days...

Aug 5th

Sharing an inside joke.

Aug 5th

My sister and I are attempting to start our niece’s...

Aug 5th

He’s almost too precious.

Aug 5th

Heart = melted.

Riley just came downstairs to give me a goodnight kiss, and after (I thought) he was done, he...

Aug 5th

Too bad Victor Pulak wasn’t there to take us on our...

Aug 5th

Rafting the Deschutes River. Best family reunion ever.

Aug 5th

On today’s bike ride, we rode to the horse stables and my 6 year old cousin, Riley, got a pony...

Aug 4th

slippy: Nobody is really happy to be there right now.

Aug 4th

paulscheer: Top 10 Zach Galifinakis Quotes - From the...

Aug 4th

condicondi: Ladies, we need to stop swooning for big tough...

Aug 4th

“If I sleep on the top bunk, will you sleep on the bottom...”
—  My 6 year old cousin, Riley,...

Aug 3rd

Why do children's shows have the...

My little cousins are watching a show on Playhouse Disney right now and these guys are windowless...

Aug 3rd

Creepy Children’s TV Show Hosts Hall of Fame

Aug 3rd

Why grandmothers shouldn't be on...

(in addition to all of the obvious reasons) The following is the exchange that occurred between my...

Aug 3rd

Day 2 in Sun River

I’m quickly learning there are a lot of things you can’t laugh out loud at when...

Aug 3rd

“She’s really into balls right now.”
—  My older sister, talking...

Aug 3rd

“I haven’t done watersports in forever.”
—  My 21 year old sister, while...

Aug 3rd

Conversation with my cousins, Gracie (7)...

Me (laying down on bed we'd been jumping on): Let's play a game called 'nap time.'
Gracie and Riley: (screaming) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Riley: Let's play a game called LOUD TIME!!!!!!!
(Spoiler alert: we didn't play naptime; we played hide and go seek, jenga, and a game where we threw their stuffed animals to one another from the top of the bunk beds)

Aug 2nd

I realize how this is going to sound,...

Who knew Salt Lake City actually had (literal) salt lakes?  (I, for one, didn’t - until...

Aug 1st