Besties On Ice

My brother sent this to me today. My birthday was almost a...

Jun 1st

It's not you, it's me.

Tumblr, it’s not that you don’t do it for me anymore, it’s just…well, you...

Jun 1st

Lesson learned this morning: babies make...

Who knew? Thanks to my niece, I now do.

May 29th

Accomplishment of the night:

Choking* the bouncer at the bar - twice - and not getting kicked out for it. In fact, he liked...

May 28th

A telltale sign that I had a pony as a...

Tonight at dinner, my mom told me that my aunt and uncle wanted me to come to Gainesville because...

May 28th

me: farrukh's real name is farrukh quraishi
Nathan: oh I know
Nathan: I've read his Wikipedia page
Nathan: Ben Davis does not have one
Nathan: another reason why I am willing to make the trade

May 28th

In which I trade Nathan my dad for his...

me: farrukh is still yapping
me: i cant get him to stop
Nathan: Farrukh is my favorite
me: you dont even know the half of it
Nathan: I will trade you Ben Davis for Farrukh straight up
me: done and done
Nathan: good
Nathan: I'll have the lawyers work out the details

May 28th

“I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book’s...”
—  Kanye West, apparently...

May 27th

I've only been home for a few hours and...

Actually, change that to “Had 20 Minute Pool Party With Niece.” Turns out 1 year olds...

May 26th

“I like it better when you do it, because you’re a...”
— nathan, on my...

May 26th

It's 4 am pacific and I'm on a layover...

if you’re reading this, get off tumblr and go to bed for the love of god! (christina,...

May 26th

“Whoever said, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose that...”
— Mary Ashton Livermore (via...

May 25th

Conversation between Shlomit (Jewish)...

Ari: i really want to go to Israel so bad. i can have my mitzcah there
Shlomit: mitzcah?
Ari: mikvah. idk charlotte did it on sex and the city when she became a jew
Shlomit: mikveh?
Ari: yeh
Shlomit: ari. girls do that after they have their period to be clean for their husband. but sure you can do that...
Ari: no on wikipedia it said you have to do that to convert
Shlomit: well you also have to do it if you want to have sex with your husband...
Ari: well i trust you more..

May 25th

I was inspired to take this picture after reading this.*...

May 24th

Last night at the wrap party, I:

Challenged my executive producer to a dance-off (he declined) and made one of the suits from...

May 23rd

(viachristinahaberkern) I’m just gonna go ahead and...

May 23rd

barelysarcasm: nedhepburn: everything they tell you about...

May 23rd

Actually, she’s an FSU sorority girl, but thanks for...

May 22nd

I made it onto www.textsfromlastnight.com thanks to my...

May 22nd

“A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why...”
— Madonna (via kari-shma) (via...

May 22nd

tomoatmeal: “Did you get a look at the suspect?” asked the...

May 22nd

(via tofuttibreak)

May 21st

What it is, yo. (If you care)

Here’s the deal: today is the last day of work before hiatus; tomorrow starts a 4 day weekend,...

May 21st

holdthewhippedcream: Indian Rocks Beach Where I (and the...

May 21st

6od: suckafuck: T.I.T.S. just dropped some fresh new...

May 21st

christinahaberkern: petswhowanttokillthemselves: “Suck...

May 21st

I just submitted to...

Text I received this morning: “I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one...

May 21st

GPOYW The City Is Your Playground edition

May 20th

View from the dive shop in Taormina, Sicily, where we spent...

May 20th

We used to drink peach bellinis barefoot...

May 20th

Hearing about Will in Florence is making...

I only wish I hadn’t wasted even a second of that time missing a boy back home who...

May 20th

Firenze

hipsterdiet: This area is completely unreal its like I’m on a movie set - nothing seems grounded...

May 20th

He would.

May 20th

This time next week I’ll be home in Tampa, which means...

May 20th

“There are only two types of women — goddesses and doormats.”
— Pablo Picasso (via quote-book)...

May 20th

I've lived here for 2 years and haven't...

It’s not you, California. It’s me.

May 20th

What's cooler than being in the same...

Being in the same room as Steve Martin. I’m not bragging; I’m just not going to pretend...

May 20th

Uncle Majic & Shock-Kim: The "Hip Hop...

May 19th

Making moves.

I’ve got my Improv201 grad show @ UCB at 4:30, and a sketch in Top Story Weekly tonight at 9...

May 17th

I just witnessed this while hiking at...

A very pregnant woman (at least 8 months preggo), wearing a cropped top that came just beneath her...

May 17th

My bestie just called to tell me this...

(Me: Because she was blind?)  BECAUSE SHE WAS A WOMAN! best Helen Keller joke ever.

May 17th

Amassing

At this point, I have nothing left to say. But give it a week or two. (via dearoldlove)

May 17th

“Did you predict that you’d give me a boner?”
—  Classmate, after my...

May 17th

I saw Cool Hand Luke at Hollywood...

I know, I’m the last person on the face of this earth to have this realization, but until...

May 17th

Oh, hey work, way to get all fancy for the final week of...

May 16th

The problem with tandem bicycle riding...

I imagine it’s the same way with crack.

May 16th

Tandem bike ride update:

Quick joyride past New York, New York to another Pleasantville-looking street. Rang the bell...

May 16th

I'm sorry, I'd LOVE to sit here at my...

I’m not bragging. Okay, i totally am, but you would too.

May 15th

I tell him that I'll be in his city for...

and he says, “I’m all yours.” And that’s exactly the kind of boy I like.

May 15th

Cool Hand Luke at Hollywood Forever Cemetery...

May 15th

(via petswhowanttokillthemselves) This is what misery looks...

May 15th

carlovely: gumshoe: my most popular picture on flickr...

May 15th

(via fuckyeahsharks) I need to get this for my niece ASAP.

May 15th

Buying her love with gifts and various...

I got my niece several awesome presents, but in retrospect, maybe I’m burning it out too soon....

May 15th

My niece is 1 today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LILY!!!!!!!!! ...

May 15th

I can hear the theme song from Titanic...

Surefire sign we’re not getting out of here any time soon.

May 14th

Sully Goes to Applebee's

May 14th

It's worth it. Just wait.

May 14th

Jim just turned off the feed of Kelly...

(Just to put in perspective where our priorities are.) Thanks, Dan, for always emailing me cat...

May 14th

yeldog: GPOYW: …..so then Joanna says, “This is a stick...

May 13th

One of the writers felt strongly that I needed to see this...

May 13th

carlovely: wordsnowheard: Do you like photography? Do...

May 13th

petswhowanttokillthemselves: Alex and his friends are...

May 13th

So this just happened...

jeninla: benwoodall: I was outside, having a phone conversation with my girlfriend, who is in...

May 13th

I just had my 2nd Lindsay Lohan sighting...

And both have occurred in 2009. (The first doesn’t entirely count because it was as a civilian...

May 13th

I just rode a tricycle around while...

Never dull; always messy.

May 13th

walpaper: 100 Things To Try in L.A. Before You Die via...

May 13th

glog: bebelestrange: TwitterPornNames (1st pet+1st teacher) is a trending topic, but I’m sticking...

May 12th

Okay, the guy on the left is for realsies my dad (and the...

May 12th

One of these guys is my father. (Can you guess which one?)

May 12th

One of them might be my father. (It’s questionable...

May 12th

(Pretty sure) that’s not my father.

May 12th

Not my father either - but I do dig the moustache.

May 12th

Not my father.

May 12th

Let's play a game with the photos my...

May 12th

“I was like, damn, his game is TIGHT!”
—  Jim, talking about one of the...

May 11th

I'm toying with the idea of going to the...

because it’s probably the closest thing to time travel at this point.

May 11th

52books: Weekend Decorating Tips from 52books: Need a...

May 11th

This time last year, you were still doing things like going to Starbucks before I woke up to bring...

May 10th

it's still thisclose to the tip of my...

but I like to think that I possess some grace.

May 9th

There are things I want to say, but in such a wired age, there is the tendency to overshare, and...

May 9th

My real life bestie Sarah has a theory about Facebook...

May 9th

Turns out he’s not the creator, but he did manage to...

May 9th

After reading this article about this site, I felt the need...

May 9th

Quick, someone call the wambulance!

What I’d like to be doing tonight: going to a BBQ and drinking Blue Moons outdoors and eating...

May 9th

The nurse at the infirmary on the lot takes all of this very...

May 8th

jeninla: drivemycar: I’m going to hell ...

May 8th

molls: devincastro: “Max costume (Where the Wild Things...

May 8th

The 3 B’s: Bangs. Beam. Bossy. Jim was so taken...

May 8th

(via christinahaberkern) I hear that, too. Which works out...

May 8th

Another shot of Robert Pattinson as Salvador Dalí. (This is...

May 7th

Listen

E-40 - Tell Me When To Go #7 on the mixtape Ernest made me for my bday. This is what nostalgia...

May 7th

Robert Pattinson as Salvador Dali, or "Robert...

May 7th

2nd GPOYW Italy Edition: Chillaxing at my favorite place in...

May 6th

GPOYW Humping the Duomo (and Probably Going to Hell For It)...

May 6th

mundaneisme: GPOYW EVIDENCE that Joanna and myself are...

May 6th

Not to namedrop, but...

Last night I cracked open Flannery O’Connor: The Complete Stories. It’s time to get...

May 5th

Beautiful birthday flowers from my best guy. I was hoping...

May 5th

The morning after.

May 5th

Erin says, “You look like Lil John.”

May 5th

He even sends a note with instructions for listening to...

May 4th

I like boys who make me mixtapes for my...

Seriously, be more thoughtful.

May 4th

Riomaggiore, The Cinque Terre, the last time I was there...

May 4th

jeninla: I dreamt about Manarola last night. Cinque Terre is...

May 4th

“One of my favorite moments of the night was you calling this boy in front of us ‘half...

May 4th

In which I thank Jay for getting me...

Jay: at first we were gonna get you a book
Jay: and then we were like '...se's already going to be drunk, that'll be a terrible present.'
me: you guys are going to make really great parents some day
me: thats all i have to say
me: you GET it
Jay: never get a drunk girl that likes kick fights a book

May 4th

All you ever wanted, was someone to take...

All you ever lose is, a little mascara (via barelysarcasm)

May 4th

christinahaberkern: Had a lot of fun with my girls last...

May 4th

Even though he had to pull out of the race due to a tendon...

May 3rd

Baby Blues BBQ in West Hollywood is like...

After 2 years of living here, I’ve finally found delicious southern comfort food less than 2...

May 3rd

The only way to describe my new haircut...

May 3rd

My birthday, so far:

Brie & Blackberry jam on sourdough and damn good coffee at Urth Cafe for breakfast with Erin,...

May 3rd

christinahaberkern: Happy Birthday, Joanna! THANKS LADY!!!...

May 3rd

My stepmom's facebook status is: "In...

So much about this is disturbing. …Mostly that my stepmom is on facebook.

May 2nd

For Where I’d Rather Be Friday, I don’t need to...

May 2nd

I have to send a photo of myself with my resume for my...

May 2nd

Tom’s response to my Italy to-do list for Will. To...

May 1st

barelysarcasm: I’ll see it in theatres… why not? ...

May 1st

henryeatspeople: Hey, have I mentioned yet that my birthday...

May 1st