Besties On Ice

I wore my lucky gun earrings to jury panel selection today...

Jul 2nd

“The inherent problem with watching Wall-E is that almost...”
— Twelve Reasons a Movie Should...

Jul 2nd

My emoticon for today:

:/

Jul 1st

happy Canada day, eh?

Jul 1st

“That guy is a joke,” Pratt says with scorn. “We were...”
—  Spencer Pratt on Kevin...

Jul 1st

The pot calling the kettle black (and...

I love that Pamela Anderson has publicly called Jessica Simpson a whore. This came from the same...

Jul 1st

boringloser: Through some weird fluke of the audience’s...

Jul 1st

Nostalgia, circa 2005.

I was just looking at some old photos from college that I’d forgotten about, and as always,...

Jun 29th

Playing “gangsters” at a mafia-themed sorority...

Jun 29th

Literature in 3 lines or less

Jun 28th

Two Shows

boringloser: OK. So my pilot will be screened. SUNDAY @ CHANNEL 101: Making Mistakes, Episode #2...

Jun 28th

BESTIES ON ICE: Getting closer to my...

glog: PARDON…. is rosewater VEGAN? #32 on the summer list- Rosewater Ice Cream. Glory, To...

Jun 28th

movie night inquiry

Does anyone have a victorian-esque wig I could borrow? For someone to look like, say, Thomas...

Jun 27th

Internet pinky promise with Paul.

Jun 27th

This is how I'm going to try and date girls...

Jun 27th

Tips to Get Joanna off Jury Duty

holdthewhippedcream: Since I follow Joanna— I mean, I follow her blog— I’ve noticed her being...

Jun 27th

Getting closer to my heritage.

Finally went to Mashti Malone’s tonight (after putting it on my to-do list in November), the...

Jun 27th

HOLY SHIT! The girl who made a sex tape with...

Jun 27th

Lunch break from jury duty, or, trying...

I drove home from downtown for my hour and a half lunch break of jury duty just to get the hell out...

Jun 26th

Guess who has to report for jury duty...

After three consecutive days of calling the juror hotline and winning the “not it!”...

Jun 26th

Told ya so. (Jared's alive.)

Jun 26th

“In lieu of donations, please give low fat condiment packets...”
— -Jaredremembered.com ...

Jun 26th

"Maid cafes?" Of course. Leave it to the...

Jun 25th

In other news, I think I’m getting my 2nd stomach bug in one week (or in 5 days). I woke up at...

Jun 25th

Yes, this one is about you.

I just booked airfare to fly to Vegas mid-July to hang with my parents dad while they’re my...

Jun 25th

“Why Russert and Carlin, and not O’Reilly and Mencia?”
— Some internet person, via...

Jun 24th

I just ate proscuitto and melon at my dining room table in Los Angeles, to pretend that I was...

Jun 24th

Don't you love it when...

you’re supposed to have jury duty on a monday but when you call the automated juror line...

Jun 23rd

glog: HELLO BATCAVE…AND WATCH OUT! It’s on the summer-to-do...

Jun 23rd

holdthewhippedcream: I was: angry that I paid $9.50 to see a movie that hasn’t improved in...

Jun 23rd

Happy birthday, Howlie Pants! I luyou!

Jun 23rd

Bathroom epiphany

I’m using the bathroom last night in the 6th floor penthouse of Chateau Marmont last night,...

Jun 22nd

A conversation that could only take...

Kevin Lehman: Glory, I love your hair! It's so much better than your old weird hair, that reddish brown? I didn't like the color.
Glory: Thank you. (beat) I'm actually wearing a wig.

Jun 22nd

...in sheeps' clothing.

i’m alive, the mouth is no longer numb, and i’m sitting at my kitchen table drinking a...

Jun 21st

Thanks, novacaine.

Is it a bad idea to go hiking at Runyon an hour and a half after getting an old filling re-filled?...

Jun 21st

christinahaberkern: Get to see her tonight. Yay! WHOOP...

Jun 20th

LA FILM FESTIVAL STARTS TODAY!!!!

Who wants to partake in some film screening with me over the next 10 days? I’m unemployed and,...

Jun 19th

It turns out the judge isn't nearly as...

I just watched Who Framed Roger Rabbit for the first time in well over a decade. Here’s the...

Jun 19th

Shlomit: i've been thinking about reevaluating my friendslist on facebook. think people will get offended?
me: i wouldnt be concerned about it
i do it from time to time
Shlomit: i'm talking about serious consolidation though
me: go through, delete people i cant remember the last time i spoke to them or think ill speak to in the future
me: oh shit
me: are...you going ot cancel me?
Shlomit: pshh
Shlomit: i would only cancel your friendship if there was a way to merge our profiles as one
Shlomit: or if facebook had the "soulmate of" option (kinda like they have "in a relationship with")
me: OMG thats amazing
me: if we could merge our profiles together: Shlojo Quraishi-Benartzy
Shlomit: i think you're onto something there brain!
me: we should get married in California just so we can torture our adopted children with terrible hyphenated last names like that
Shlomit: i LOVE terrible hyphenated last names!!
me: i think i just proposed to you
Shlomit: i think i just accepted

Jun 19th

checkyoureggs: david choe Best. Picture. Ever.

Jun 19th

This Is A Great Day

allgrownsup: johncarney: Red wine makes you thinner and coffee helps you live longer. And, of...

Jun 19th

Perez Hilton presents "Gossip on the Go", a...

Jun 19th

Two thoughts, not at all related.

1) Norm MacDonald’s surprise set last night at See You Next Tuesday - he was either fucked up...

Jun 19th

watcheroftheskies: The Deepest Swimming Pool In The World ...

Jun 19th

I hope you're happy.

Hey, Sarah Howell, I finally enabled comments on my blog. Now you can leave snarky little comments...

Jun 18th

Finally, some answers to my question. Or, one...

Jun 18th

A neverending to-do list:

With it being summer and me being unemployed, I’ve come up with a fun yet purposeful...

Jun 18th

i wish i could afford to live in a one bedroom apartment so i wouldn’t have to deal with dirty...

Jun 18th

pauliophonic: As expensive as gas is, and as expensive as this city is in general, it’s pretty cool...

Jun 18th

Yay for Comedy Death Ray in T minus 1 hour and 53 minutes! I’m stoked about seeing Sarah...

Jun 18th

This picture kind of made my day. Also, I wonder what they...

Jun 18th

I'm quickly turning into my grandmother....

I showed up to last night’s Movie Night with a wine glass and mini-bottle of wine (screw-off...

Jun 17th

Watch

kenohno: Ken Ochalek: Left-Handed: A Profile in Courage Stand and be counted, my left-handed...

Jun 17th

How Have I Never Read This?

Jun 17th

Watch

boringloser: Tumblr. - The Documentary. Oh, Dave Seger, you make me laugh.

Jun 17th

(I think he’s talking to me. LOL.)

Jun 17th

check list almost complete, and it's...

I’ve been pretty productive today (as productive as someone who is currently unemployed can...

Jun 16th

last minute cry for help

if anyone isn’t working tomorrow, has a camera, and wants to partake in the fun that is making...

Jun 16th

Submission Submitted

glog: During the nightmarish last few months in the office, my blessed neighboring desk buddy,...

Jun 15th

Hiking: the "lame california shit"...

me: im gonna go hiking before the mister gets off work'
me: gots to get me excersizms in
sarah: what? thats some lame california shit right there. "Hiking". its called walking down in normal people land
me: well im going to a canyon 2 blocks from my house
sarah: p.s., i meant this version of california to be pronounced "caliey-four-nye-ayye"
me: and its "walking" up a mountain, enjoying the city view, and then trying no to stumble down the steep, rocky path
me: its a far cry from the walking you, Puddles, and I did in Flo-rida
me: and i meant that version to be pronounced like the rapper, Flow-rider, not the state

Jun 15th

Where did I put the ammo...

glog: Last night on Letterman… Spencer [“What’s his name”] and that idiot Heidi stopped by to only...

Jun 15th

Dear Delbert Dean Shoopman (the person,...

Could I have received a more useful and smile-inducing email at 11:39 on a Friday night than one...

Jun 14th

Next week = I'm a comedy whore.

This is what happens when I’m unemployed.* Next week I’m going on Tuesday to see Sarah...

Jun 14th

pauliophonic: Awesome. Yay^2 (squared) (get it? because...

Jun 14th

Oh, and while we're on the subject of...

F the moon shoes. You know, the expensive, ugly as all get out walking shoes that Katherine Heigl...

Jun 12th

Dear Urban Outfitters,

Why are you holding out on me? Remember that order I placed a week and a half ago, that you promised...

Jun 12th

Craigslist ad...

From time to time, I like to browse Craigslist in hopes of finding little gems like the following...

Jun 12th

Martha would sympathize.

Why aren’t there any NORMAL recipes for chocolate chip cookies on the food network’s...

Jun 11th

Sleeping in and buying jeans, the things...

I slept in until 9:30 again today and am making an earnest attempt to feel less guilty about it. I...

Jun 11th

pauliophonic: I’ve survived in this city for five months. Hooray. And I’ve been here a year...

Jun 11th

“I think we are going to go to the movies later, and pick up...”
—  My friend Tallia, who has...

Jun 11th

Animal Review urges us not to see "Kung Fu...

Jun 10th

“Hellllllo, I’m not dead. Call me.”
—  Voicemail I just received...

Jun 10th

a quick history/pick-up lines...

Paul: what's "kamikaze'd"?
Paul: i am not familiar with that move
me: kamikaze, like japanese bomber pilots from ww2
Paul: oh
me: who would crash their shit into our shit
me: i should teach history

Jun 10th

“By the way, if you ever teach my children that trash again,...”
— - Email from my hardcore...

Jun 10th

My college years called - they want...

The pie was a success, in case you were wondering. Drinking a blue fishbowl with my two roommates...

Jun 8th

Two things right quick.

Today is one of those days that make me thankful to live in Southern California. Blame it on the...

Jun 8th

Hey lady, your future's showing!

I’m going to Bed Bath and Beyond to buy one of those old-timey do it yourself by hand (no...

Jun 7th

Finally, a girl after my own heart.

allgrownsup: I wish someone would start a company that makes cute switchblade knives for girls.

Jun 7th

Today was a joke.

I went to CBS Radford in Studio City today dreading the extras work I’d duped myself into...

Jun 7th

Why do I do this to myself??

A: Because I need the paycheck, or at least need to feel like I’m working. I decided to cast...

Jun 6th

Watch

Glory Gale, you never cease to amaze me. (And woo me with web videos) glog: Um….. YooooHOOOOO…....

Jun 5th

Paul: Movie night movie night movie night
me: when is it?
Paul: you got the email with the schedule, yes?
me: ah yes
me: i was being lazy
me: and ordering sandals on urbanoutfitters.com
me: you caught me

Jun 5th

Today = blog wars.

Jun 5th

Post, Post Script

In response to this : Sarah cooked a delicious 3 course berry-themed meal. It was phenomenal,...

Jun 5th

Dear Sarah, Just because you’re home in Tampa doesn’t mean you can slack off on your...

Jun 5th

Time flies when you're working your ass...

Packing to fly back to LA tomorrow after a week and a half in the sunshine state. This time last...

Jun 3rd

This Makes Me Sad: 30 Upcoming Sequels You...

Jun 2nd

I've never been one for cosmetic...

My tumblr needs a facelift like whoa.

Jun 2nd

Hurts so good...

Today is the one week anniversary of the worst sunburn I’ve ever experienced. This time last...

Jun 1st